Thursday, July 26, 2012

Something bigger.

This week has been one of the most peaceful and fulfilling weeks I've had in a very long time. My spirit feels long it lasts, who knows. But I'm going to take advantage of it as long as I can :)

Musically, I've been given some incredible opportunites that I can't do anything but absorb and appreciate the moment. Not to mention, I've completed 6 songs in the last week and a half and I can honestly say that I am beyond thrilled about each of them. Two of these songs in particular have busted my heart wide open, bringing me to tears (for once, the good kind of tears) during the writing process. I can't WAIT to share these gems with you soon. It's been a long time since the creativity has flowed so freely for me and I'm more than happy to ride the wave as long as it allows me to :)

I've been spending some much needed downtime/alone time in the beauty that is Kingston Springs this week too. Being with my dogs, the river, the gorgeous landscape that the parks and nature trails bestow is beyond breath-taking. To allow yourself to get lose in "something bigger" is a freedom I don't allow myself often enough. Seriously, see for yourself...

I thank you God for the peace of mind and for the clarity and confidence to move forward. I've never been more sure-footed in the direction You've pointed me in. I have no idea what's next and for the first time, I really don't care to worry about it. I'm just certain it's where I'm supposed to be. And for the first time in a long time, I feel surrounded so many that genuinely love & support me and are making me elevate myself to better. Thankful <3

Allow me to leave you with this collage from my rather blissful Thursday today :)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

When you stop chasing the wrong things...

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things the chance to catch you.

It's that easy?
I'm certainly starting to believe it these days.

Lord knows I've spent farrr too much time chasing things that never wanted to be caught and setting myself up for disaster, haha. Granted, I haven't done so in at least a month now but even still...old habits die hard. And it's a constant battle with myself to not give into old routines and behaviors. I know we all struggle with that. Just some like inflicting pain on themselves more than others...?

I can be the epitome of a 'hot mess' :)

I did have an ephiphany a few weeks back though. I've been discovering what people and situations bring out the best in me and which persons won't let me grow. The last few months have definitely been an evolution of sorts. Musically, spiritually, physically...I have pushed myself outside of my comfort zone, hit some new highs, hit some pretty low lows. But all and all, made it through and can be ever more grateful for "the other side".

Musically and personally, I feel like I can be a bit misunderstood. Granted, I know that most opinions of me floating around out there are based on what I've put out into the world. However, it's a challenge that I've gladly taken on to show people that maybe they don't know everything there is to know. Musically, I haven't done HALF of what I can do and plan to show it off. Very very soon ;) Personally, I know that I've grown and I continue to do so. I'm re-drawing my lines and boundaries. I'm discovering what I truly want to accomplish in this life and what I expect from people in my life. I'm forgiving myself and others for hurts I've tolerated in the past, and vowing to never settle for those standards again. And yes, I'm finally at a place in my life where things that I thought were important and made me happy up until a few months ago no longer do. I've accepted that the person I was striving to be nothing like and the person that the world was seeing were dangerously close to being one and the same. We don't have to get into specifics but's an eye-opener. And like I said, a challenge that I'm more than willing to take on.

I am so blessed for the opportunity to reinvent myself, so to speak. God is good and when I don't listen, He consistantly proves with the hard lessons He deals that He's watching me and cares enough to knock some sense into me. I'm sincerely thankful for that. And also, that I have parents and amazing friends that will slap the hell out of me too in case it didn't sink in the first 12 times :)