Sunday, October 21, 2012

And it's hit me.

There's too much to catch up on to tell you everything that's gone on in my world the last few months since my last blog update. Just know that it's been up, down, in the middle for no longer than a minute and a half, and there hasn't been a boring day in this life yet ;) New music, tons of traveling, people staying with me from out of town, my birthday (parts 1, 2, and 3!), new friends, new boy(s), and a puppy named Pippen!

All this hoopla of trying to raise money for my new CD, going out of town, having friends and family stay with me, taking care of this crazy puppy, starting a new it hit me hard.

In less than 2 weeks, my brother donates a kidney to my mother.
I don't know about you, but that's some heavy shit to take in and absorb...

Mom is reading all sorts of books, magazine articles, online blogs, etc. about her transplant and the effects, emotionally and physically, on the recipient and donor.  She's terrified of the toll it will take on my brother and how long his recovery will be.  And this whole time we've all been like, " don't have a choice.  We won't take No for an answer, you're having this transplant."  And then last night one of my good friends brings up the point that, as a mother...that has to be the hardest call you could make.  Knowing that your son is going to go through probably the most traumatic experience his body will ever have...all for you.

My mind is blown.

Clearly, I already knew how intense and serious this surgery is.  But I guess my mind always processed it as the surgery was a no-brainer when the alternative is losing your mother.  But to think of the turmoil my mom is probably going through, knowing that her son is at risk.  I can't even phathom this.

This has been one ridiculous ride and I sincerely pray that after next month, we can get off of it.  I got an email from my ex's mother the other day telling me how inspiring it was that my brother was giving my mom this gift, and how strong and loyal of a family we were.  And it's true...

This has brought much needed perspective and clarity on what really matters.

Keep it with you always.