Tuesday, July 17, 2012

When you stop chasing the wrong things...

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things the chance to catch you.

It's that easy?
I'm certainly starting to believe it these days.

Lord knows I've spent farrr too much time chasing things that never wanted to be caught and setting myself up for disaster, haha. Granted, I haven't done so in at least a month now but even still...old habits die hard. And it's a constant battle with myself to not give into old routines and behaviors. I know we all struggle with that. Just some like inflicting pain on themselves more than others...?

I can be the epitome of a 'hot mess' :)

I did have an ephiphany a few weeks back though. I've been discovering what people and situations bring out the best in me and which persons won't let me grow. The last few months have definitely been an evolution of sorts. Musically, spiritually, physically...I have pushed myself outside of my comfort zone, hit some new highs, hit some pretty low lows. But all and all, made it through and can be ever more grateful for "the other side".

Musically and personally, I feel like I can be a bit misunderstood. Granted, I know that most opinions of me floating around out there are based on what I've put out into the world. However, it's a challenge that I've gladly taken on to show people that maybe they don't know everything there is to know. Musically, I haven't done HALF of what I can do and plan to show it off. Very very soon ;) Personally, I know that I've grown and I continue to do so. I'm re-drawing my lines and boundaries. I'm discovering what I truly want to accomplish in this life and what I expect from people in my life. I'm forgiving myself and others for hurts I've tolerated in the past, and vowing to never settle for those standards again. And yes, I'm finally at a place in my life where things that I thought were important and made me happy up until a few months ago no longer do. I've accepted that the person I was striving to be nothing like and the person that the world was seeing were dangerously close to being one and the same. We don't have to get into specifics but yeah...it's an eye-opener. And like I said, a challenge that I'm more than willing to take on.

I am so blessed for the opportunity to reinvent myself, so to speak. God is good and when I don't listen, He consistantly proves with the hard lessons He deals that He's watching me and cares enough to knock some sense into me. I'm sincerely thankful for that. And also, that I have parents and amazing friends that will slap the hell out of me too in case it didn't sink in the first 12 times :)

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